Author: John Akwasi Mawuli Atidigah
I keep telling myself there’s someone out there for me, but each day that passes, it just gets harder and harder, and i’m losing hope. What if I’ve already met him and I don’t even know it? What if I’ve already lost him? This is how I feel every day. I can’t get past the feeling that I’ve found him but i’ll never be with him. Whether its because hes far too Handsome, smart, kind or any of the other numerous things I could list off of the top of my head, I just can’t fathom the thought that I could end up being happy. Why can’t I be happy?
I long to be in love, that feeling of happiness, that motivation to be the best person I could be, I want it back. I want to be his best friend, his confidant, a shoulder for him to cry on, a presence that would cheer him up and bring him happiness, everything he could ever want. Yet, here I am, alone, and these are just words, no matter how much I believe in them, no matter how much I know that I could be that person, it means nothing, because I sit here, alone.
What do I have to do? How much pain, sadness, depression do I have to endure to find my happiness? I try my damnedest to be a good person, I don’t want to be the person that brings everyone down, I want to be the one that makes people happy and raise their spirits, they’d see me and their day gets the slightest bit better, I had that for a time, but now… Now i’m a shell of the person I once was. I let it take me down, how can I ever expect to find someone this way? I’m on a highway of pain with no off-ramp and only he can pull me off of it.